Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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