I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
