i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
