I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
