Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
