what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
