Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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