Buhtt sex?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
