I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
