mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Terrible idea I love it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
