I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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