Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
