I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
