I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
