I cannot find my penis.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
