good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
