Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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