I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you inspire me to be a worse person
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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