There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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