I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Barsexuality is the new black.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
