Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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