Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
