Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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