his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
