Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
vagina is talking i cant
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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