i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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