Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
