I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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