Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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