I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
