Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
