what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
