They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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