You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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