Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
