Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
