remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
