And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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