good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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