ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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