Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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