wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
