Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
