did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
