yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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