I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
