just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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