Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
