yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
