Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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